Breastfeeding 365

Category: grandmothers

Calling Forth Our Tribe

nothing separates us from love, I will sit down and nurse my little one for the next 365 days

Work life balance! Where is pleasure and freedom?

OR

Why we cannot wait….To…

I am giddy with excitement; I celebrated an incredible milestone of having a 70^th birthday.    While I am not nursing a little one at the moment, I have recently given birth to what some might call a new idea where I want to pivot….

I want to commit to anchoring myself.. developing within me an attachment of love … seeing this new entity grow and to keep showing up 365 days in a row. Connection, attachment, balance, love, letting go… spreading seed in the dark unknown the black sun if you can envision such a thing where I bring all aspects of myself as an elder to bring more light and love and community in the world.

My children were my best teachers. I learned so very much about love, and myself and that they trusted me and relied on me. I was both the beneficiary and the supplier. I thought I was doing it alone, by sheer will, the giant teat; sustenance for us both at a time when it was so hard to look around and see what I was doing and see if it made any sense at all. How do we encourage ourselves to do or be something? What brings us Joy! How can we be proud of ourselves and have faith in our own mind, body and spirit… just because…

We do it by just showing up, being gentle and kind with ourselves and others and making space to listen and form our tribe. Can we float and form a space where we gather around  we show how we might listen to the women who have nursed their little ones for 365 days or longer to meet up with someone who feels deeply that this is a milestone for them that they would like to just see what may happen if they could … do something that they want simply for the Joy of it  just because…

Could we, not I form a foundation a sanctuary, a gathering place, a listening post where folks  might speak and ask not only questions but, the space where they first and foremost would be listened to… no fear, no judgment, just love….

Would it be OK and important that we take time out to set a priority that was centered around a critical moment of setting the foundation, making the transition and we have that hope and light for our little ones and for each other… but mostly for our selves as women.

So tonight we take the steps, and have our first meet up where the doors are open and we look around for our tribe, who is there with us and for us…

I saw so many roadblocks to how I could organize and sponsor a call out a gathering.

I saw all the speed bumps and was having trouble with keeping the vision and hearing the voice of wisdom and love.…

I got an email birthday card… about reminding me about legacy and birth and what might be what’s calling me to celebrate

Feeling like my senses were failing me… when in fact my grace and vision was becoming crystal clear…

Keep it simple, open your heart, loving kindness and compassion and have the humility to ask for help.

Do you know one woman who has nursed her little one for 365 days or more?

How can you find her?

Have you ever thought, wondered tried to nurse a baby and felt like you missed the mark or would have benefited from the “tribe” the community that would support you with love no questions asked.

Would you like to make a pledge to stay with your little one and nurse for 365 days in a row? Just because you want to…

What we have in common is who we are and what we want to do. So many mothers came before us… They have such stories to tell.. Your passion , your hearts desire… We honor all mothers and their journey… We celebrate the birth of new ideas with women.

All are welcome here if you need us and want us. We have been looking for each other… so come by, my brother made pie for the celebration and it is sweet and good…

See you soon…

So let us begin!

“You have touched the lives of so many. May your birthday shine like your life.”

Midwifery Legacy Project  Honoring Wise Midwives

http://www.midwife.org/acnm/files/ccLibraryFiles/Filename/000000005631/MLP-ecard-2015-2016.pdf

https://www.meetup.com/365-breastfeeding-tribe-meetup-group/events/298358291/

our sons our daughters all of them

LOOKING FOR OUR TRIBE ….MAKING THE PLEDGE

January 28, 2024
Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary, December 8th

As a day of Holy Obligation, I attended on-line Mass today. Not because I had to; but because I wanted to truly celebrate A Feast Day for Mothers. It was really quite lovely. It has been many years since I went to Mass. However, I have found myself moved to prayer most days, these days; and as you would imagine I pray mostly to Mary in all her mysterious glory to intercede on behalf of all Mothers.

It is a simple prayer, probably one that I first learned in my childhood.it goes like this…

Hail Mary

Full of Grace

The Lord is with Thee

Blessed are you Among Women

Blessed is the Fruit of thy Womb

Jesus.

It is the foundation of the Rosary , a calming and repetitive devotion that is an integral part of a long held ritual often enjoyed during Advent, the season leading up to the birth of the Christ and all of the celebratory events we associate with Christmas.

You don’t have to be Catholic or even religious to imagine what it might be like for you the 17 days before the birth of your little one. In addition to feeling fat, and wholly unready for the task at hand and how you might ever care for a little One; you hope for a moment of calm and the knowledge that all indeed will be well. it can be very reassuring to know that God is within you.

The tale is really quite magical, that a Virgin gives birth. There is NO sin, Original or otherwise and this was known well before your (Mary’s ) conception. Her mother (the baby’s grandmother) Anne knew and it was foretold that her conception was like no other and that She alone would give birth and nurture someone incredibly special who would save the world because of her Divine Love and Grace.

Today no matter what, I hope and pray that you feel special and wonderful and capable of even the impossible. Spirit’s got your back and you need not worry about the details.

My granddaughter introduced me to a word that she had tattooed on her forearm in plain view, she was “Too great or extreme to be expressed or described in words”. Pope and a bunch of folks used the same Word to describe Mary and why we might worship her.

ineffable

In case you have forgotten, you are truly Divine!

December 9, 2020
TODAY is MY DAUGHTER’s 40th Birthday

See her there, gorgeous mound of amber Joy pretending to cheez for the camera. She is about 15 months old. My dad took this photo just past the 365 day mark. This is a lovely Sunday December near Christmas Gathering. We are nowhere near weaning. I am getting some good natured teasing from folks, I am smiling, she is ignoring them. Weighing in about 36 pounds, my Nana is whispering in my ear to ignore them reminding me she is strong and healthy for a girl and I look happy and well. “You will know when it’s time” I find it’s so interesting today that both my grandmothers who had a chance to nurse their babies well past a year gave me almost verbatim the same advice. “just sit down and nurse that baby and you will both feel better”

My daughter is wondering why I wore that stupid midi dress, turtleneck no less which provides no access to titties. I was trying to look grown up as if we no longer nursed at a moment’s notice. She more practical still than I wonder how long does she need to be polite and wait and eat finger foods olives, cheese, crackers, codfish cakes, deviled eggs.

See her reaching over pulling the fake pearls, not distracted a bit from what she knows will be our quiet time when we are done with these family folk. I just found this picture. The only one I have with me and my Nana. She lived a few years more and died my first day of midwifery school, passing the torch as it were. I now can see the power of Elder blessings!

I have been uncharacteristically teary today. I just finished the last payment on the headstone for my mom. She’s been dead now since 2009. The cemetery couldn’t find the account number or paper working barely the grave site if not for my daughter. The cemetery changed hands or pandemic stuff; records not digitized whatever? My daughter is the only one that visits the grave site and I think it is a fitting present that today on her 40th birthday, we remember my mother properly with so much gratitude. The gravestone goes to production, no more debt. We are so free to love and remember.

Violette Duckett Strachan April 27, 1927- January 9, 2009

Legacy is love. Inheritance is joy, and hope and promise.

Happy Birthday my beautiful Daughter. You are my Joy! I love you so!

September 4, 2020
Wise Woman Ways

One day your time of fertility, and nursing a little one will go away. One year, one full cycle of 365 days after the birth will seem to be such a short time. Hours, minutes, days are all relative. It is such mystery that we have a time to menstruate, we bleed and for the remainder of nearly half our lives we cease to be able to reproduce and we have menopause; the bleeding stops.

During lactation, and then again as we approach menopause, we have extraordinary powers and are extremely sensitive to the ways in which we interact with the world. When our flow changes, when we nurse our babies as we prepare to let them go from relying on our bodies: we heal ourselves, we heal each other and we heal our planet.

One of my favorite authors and teachers is Susun S. Weed. She has written several books on healing and most recently I have re-read Wise Woman Ways: The Menopausal Years. As I remember vividly the time of nursing my children, I don’t think I thought of the days of how it would feel for me or that the cycles I experience as a woman (Some ONE with a womb) would change across my lifetime in a predictable pattern. We are all unique, but we share many things in common.

Susun describes and expands on a concept she calls the six steps of healing. She reminds us that we have ancestors and grandmothers who have been through this before and that we can listen, tell our own stories and also rely on them to teach us and guide us whenever we are ready. It is the role of the elder. It speaks to wise woman ways. As you grow and nurse your little one , you are becoming a wise woman.

She describes an archetypal character called Grandmother Growth. She advises us to:

“Let Grandmother Growth help. She knows the ways of woman’s mysteries. She lives the ways of the wise woman, healing and wholing person and planet. She offers stories about Change, new ways to understand the menopausal years, and new visions of old woman, She-Who-Holds-the Wise-Blood-Inside. “Shall we begin?”

Step 0. Do Nothing

Step 1 Collect Information

Step 2 Engage the Energy

Step 3. Nourish and Tonify

Step 4. Stimulate/ Sedate

Step 5a Use supplements

Step 5b Use drugs

Step 6 Break and Enter

Most of what we share and promote here in this breastfeeding365 blog centers around the healing that takes place during steps 0-3. For many of us, in our contemporary society we have never done anything even remotely like this. We have never been allowed to make the time.

STEP 0. .. Do nothing …sleep, meditate, unplug the clock or the cellphone, a vital INVISIBLE step

STEP 1 …Collect Information …low tech diagnosis, reference books, support groups, divination

STEP 2…Engage the energy…prayer, homeopathic remedies, crying, visualizations, ritual, aromatherapy, color, laughter

Where are you on your healing journey? Are you nursing a little one right now? Are you supporting and helping someone as they make this change in the way they are living their lives. Tell us your story! We are listening! And so is Grandmother Growth!

References

http://www.susunweed.com

September 2, 2020
Mothers Happy Day 2020

While not all of us are mothers nor do we wish to be…. we all have mothers! Some we know and love, some we have lost … some at best struggled to be any sort of parent. Today I would like to remember our mother and our Mother Earth and thank them.

If you took a moment and thought about what would make our mother happy; could you … if it was within your power to give her that with all of your love.

At this time, we remember those mothers who lost their babies . Dreams of what their children might be. No mother wants to believe that it is their child who might harm someone else … we live in guilt and shame when our children fall from the mark. We believe it is our fault even when that was not our intention.

Sometimes we don’t know what someone needs or wants ..yet do we have the courage to ask and do what we can to provide …

We love our mother as the one we hoped would nurture us and provide all we needed. They did the best they could. And we thank them. For some of us we never quite felt good enough but we never ever stopped trying!

We didn’t mean to break their hearts to disappoint them or make them sad. How they felt most days had little or nothing to do with us. We couldn’t know that as children .. but on this day, we are at peace at knowing we all have done our best.

Today do something that makes you happy. Today no doubt that would make your mom very proud !

May 10, 2020
Can you imagine having grandchildren?

Yesterday, my newest grand-daughter Ava Violet was 4 weeks old.  To me, she is so affectionately known as Diva clutch your pearls, number 5. I love the way she smells!

When I think about how transformative it was to have a child, especially for the very first time, I could not have imagined having grandchildren.  Too far in the distant future, I didn’t have a sense of the line of women before me; the women who would come after me. I do now. It makes me cry with such gratitude.

Amazing, miraculous that I am the one left still standing among the women who thought of me, prayed for me, imagined I would be coming along and that things would be better for me. Do you know your maternal lineage?  Can you name the names of the 5 women who preceded you? Mother’s mother, her mother, and her mother, and her mother. Women yet unborn, names you don’t yet know. Connected to them for one year, 365 days, would it make it easier to have one more day with her.

Mary Ellen

Mary Ellen

Lois Antoinette

Violette Ellen

Jacqueline Lois

Amber Joy

Taylor Marie

More powerful, more lovely, more mystical is your love for your little one.

Do you feel the love of someone who loved you like that?

Imagine holding your baby!

Imagine being held in your grandmother’s loving arms!

Tell your story, mention her name, write their names down, tell your daughters, honor your mother

https://www.familytreedna.com/products/mt-dna

* direct maternal lineage is the line that follows your mother’s maternal ancestry. This line consists entirely of women, even though both men and women have their mother’s mitochondrial DNA (mtDNA). This means that fathers do not pass on their mtDNA to their children. Your mtDNA can trace your mother, her mother, her mother’s mother, and so forth and offers a clear path from you to a known or likely direct maternal ancestor.

September 27, 2019
Breastfeeding 365

Do you know one woman who breastfed her baby for one year? 365 days nonstop: her tittie in her babe’s mouth, nursing her little one for one year?  Could you call her on the phone? Text her? Read her journal?  Does she have a blog?  Is she in your family? Your sister, your own mother, mom, your cousin, your grandmother?

Has someone actually ever done this before? Can she tell you how it feels?  Are you the only one on the planet that wants this and needs this time with your baby? What is it really like to have someone sucking on you every day, and every night?

You are so desperately needed by your baby as the primary if not the only source of nutrition.  What if your need to nurse your baby was just as great for your own health and well-being for making that gentle transition after the birth of your baby.

We are mammals!  We provide a live birth with warm milk! We shift that fundamental foundational relationship when we substantially change and share the nature of our connection to our baby. We move from the private and hidden space of being  physically attached throughout the gestational period by the placenta.  In an instant the cord is cut and the continuous connection moves to seeing, sharing, feeling, tasting and nursing at our breast.  We enter the public space.  It’s just not calories in and calories in!  There is a compelling need for nourishment, comfort; nurturing; and soothing for emotional growth and development that takes place for both the mother and baby as a couple!

  What did you get out of nursing your baby for one year? If you haven’t done it yet: what might you get out of keeping close to your baby and nursing your little one for at least 365 days after you have given birth. What would be the perfect 24 hour day with you and your baby?  Everyone seems to agree most days that mother’s milk is good for babies; but what is the supreme benefit for you as the mother to give your baby your milk from your breast? Is it good enough to simply supply the milk by any means necessary and be done with it?

How do you grow as a woman when you make the choice to become a mother? You are many things, but for that one year, just 365 days: being a nursing mother takes priority. You do what no one else can!  What other things must you balance to make sure that you both survive and flourish as a mother for that first year of your baby’s life?

Some people feel we learn to love at the breast. How does this notion  feel to be your baby’s first lover? How does it feel to have your baby show loving and longing for you? It is so not a one way street.  It is a powerful symbiotic relationship that begins at the moment of conception and ends 365 days after giving birth. Can you allow yourself the gift of 365 days of breastfeeding your baby?

Please share your story.  Did you nurse your baby for 365 days in a row? What was your experience like?  When you didn’t get to nurse your baby just when you wanted to, how did that feel? Might you try to nurse your baby for just one year as an extension of your pregnancy?  It’s just 365 days!  If you had a few questions, who might you ask?  Would it help if you had some help; just a bit of support, someone to call, someone who knew what to say to give you some encouragement? We are here for you!

March 25, 2019