….. O mothers everywhere everyday at any age but especially today at 69
It is the practice of mothers to measure success in the accomplishments, lack there of or behavior of their children. as if when we nurture them, we nurture ourselves vicariously.
It is rare that we want to allow for our success in that we might honor giving space and time to what it is we want to do. Who do we wish and long to be? To give ourselves fully to a moment…. be it creative, play, pleasure, if we are in a place where we truly have choice and so we exercise life, symmetry, and oh yes beauty.
What a dear guide calls the “generative story of our time” . What are the wise and gentle voices we allow in our heads and hearts? Are they kind?
While I am happy and grateful for the lives of my progeny and ancestors, today I celebrate me, Weird Elder holding space and light and JOY for the gratitude I feel at this moment. Forgiveness and and compassion for all the choices and places I found and continue to find my self with both regrets and misunderstandings and angst and the habit of self-flagellations forgot having done it not anything right.
Today I feel accountable and responsible for me. The part that is mine, especially the part that is shared. My good intentions.
If my child, that aspect and part of the relation and connection that is me; the coupling that is hurt and harmed and whole. I hold us both well and healed in this moment. I grieve and groan the pain of loss, despair and disappointment. I embrace the painful part that is birth and starting all new ventures and showing up without good intentions without knowing or having full control of the outcome.
Today, as I close out the sixth decade.. I leave and look forward to LOVE.
If for any moment you want and desire for this moment: when you are grateful, more than enough and you surrender to the peace of what it is ..
We surround you with love and peace and the place to sit a moment and just wander and wonder and rest.
As if a special veil was lifted, with new moons, mercy, and grace and lots of snow. I can see many things that were not always visible to me today. Pretty snow, pretty light coming from dark spaces, winter and dawn of possibilities. Is that birth day, reflection and grace, circling back and remembering my own mom, and hers and hers and hers.. as I do my own Daughter and hers and hers.
In lieu of a purse, or earrings or a meal out and about. I got a gift of the happy birthday song sang at the bedside from my son as he woke me.. and yet and still another song of poetry brilliant from my daughter. great and unexpected gifts and treasures.
Happy within me…joyous and free… stories of what we leave behind and remembered for and more than that it is a mighty mighty mighty good day, the day you were born and the womb space you rode in on… the breath and blood of life circulating.. we thank her for the ride..
Do you post your birthday cards on the fridge? Do you look in the mirror and wonder if you see yourself as others see you? I remind you to tell your story. put it somewhere, you or someone is watching and listening right now.
BIRTHDAY BLESSINGS for the MOTHER from the DAUGHTER
Sunday’s around three,
When the breeze hits the trees,
And the leaves pass by…
Your energy is felt
Your hands, the miracles they’ve dealt
Your aura…Free and unapologetically.
A humble servant.
A midwife of many.
A lover of life.
A giver of plenty.
A dynamic beauty who stands her place.
A light to such darkness.
The bearer of joy and rivers.
A method for so many.
I wear her on the outside, but I also have her in me.
Happy Birthday Mom!