In my last blog entry, I wrote about my recollection as a nursing mother experiencing pleasure. I was curious about how other mothers felt about their own sexuality during lactation. Frankly, this was an area we chatted little about. Privacy and confidentiality notwithstanding, this was protected information for those mothers who felt that if anyone knew that the baby was not the only one getting their needs met; there would be a lot of explaining to do.
I had completely forgotten a habit of mine to wear a bra when having sex. I knew nothing about oxytocin then, but I learned the hard way that if I came, milk squirted all over the place and we both got wet. The baby was nowhere around when the mysterious let-down reflex suddenly became Niagara Falls. Before I had the good sense to wear my bra and to stuff a few of my best cotton nursing pads under my pillow just in case; we would have to rush for towels to keep the bed and pillows from getting wet. We didn’t make love often, and I certainly didn’t experience the Big O orgasm every time; but when it did occur it was quite magical. We would be smiling and laughing and then giggling and as if on cue that would wake the baby with the smell of warm wasting milk and pillow talk. That would be the end of our brief alone time together and we would transition back to our other roles, or just the return for all of us to blissful sleep. So that began the practice of putting on my bra if it looked like we might be moving in that direction of making love should the opportunity arise.
We didn’t speak about this ever, but I do believe that it was pretty weird to know that orgasm and the easy flow of my milk was somehow closely related. Happy, relaxed joyous and free, feeling secure in the arms of my lover and my baby.
Please share your story. Did you ever experience a let down reflex or the spontaneous flow of milk while making love? Are you just a “flowy” kind of person? Do you even know if you have G spot? Did you notice a difference in your response patterns in the early postpartum period as opposed to nursing an older baby or a toddler? Were you ever shy about talking about this? Did your husband feel curious or even jealous about your time with the baby… do you feel the intimacy of the mother baby couple?